When God Holds On

The Grace of God Holding Us

The day my twin brother and I were born my Mother ended up getting a serious infection and for a while things with my Mother had been touch and go.  I think the story has it that my Mother's regular doctor had gone on holidays and so my Mother didn't have her regular doctor has this infection began to grow out of control.  My Father ended up having to be right at the doctors heal yelling and screaming at the doctors to get their act in order to check up on my Mother because none of what they were doing had any affect on dealing with the infection and my Mother's condition was just getting worse.  Finally, I think somebody managed to get in contact with my Mother's regular doctor and so he came in running and after yelling and screaming at all the doctors on staff he checked up on my Mother, made a few simple changes, perhaps yelled at the doctors some more, made sure my Mother's condition was improving then went back on his holiday, no doubt hoping to actually have a holiday.  I'm not so certain that the magical touch was in the few simple changes her doctor had made and my Mother could testify to this, Jesus healed my Mother and touched her in a way that really made a profound impact on her faith and relationship with Jesus Christ.  

You cannot be on deaths doorstep and being touched by Jesus and that not have an impact on your life.  My Mother described the event as if Jesus literally walked into the room, wrapped his arms around her throughout the night as she sweated out the infection and as God healed her in this area.  She said it felt like death was crawling all over her but when Jesus walked into the room everything changed.  Peace entered the room and she would rest in that peace until morning.  Two years later my Mother lost her battle to cancer but I look at it this way, the Lord gave me two precious years with my Mother when she nearly lost her life the day my twin brother and I were born.  

Some time after my twin brother and I were born my Nana came to visit from Norway.  One day she came walking in through the front door to see my Mother playing with my twin brother and I on the floor and right away began to complain to my Mother about the state the house was in with the laundry piling up, never mind the hired help my parents had to help my parents to take care of two sets of twins and the many friends within our small community who came to help out frequently, my Nana had her priorities but they were different from the priorities that my Mother had.  My Nana lived as though she'd live forever and I think my Mother's words must have had an impact because this was one story among many that she would tell me years later.  

"The laundry will always be there needing to get done but I won't always be there for my kids"  ~ In honor of my Mom, cheering me on with the great cloud of witnesses who have gone on before me.

Sometimes life is just so hard that the only way through is knowing that God is holding on and perhaps even tighter than we can hold on to Him. 

My Father is a commercial fisherman; he has spent most of his life fishing all up and down the West  Coast of British Columbia, Canada.  Over the years I've had the opportunity to go out for a couple of seasons.  I know I've shared this story once before in one my earlier blog posts but it was a while so... when I was 17 I began learning how to navigate the fishing boat.  After nearly sinking the boat on more then one occasion, and nearly crashing into the side of not one but two of the cruise ships passing by, and nearly beaching the boat on another occasion, I thought this is quite the adventure for sure.  Not too long ago I finally got my learners and I've made this one observation, navigating on water and on land is not necessarily a gifting of  mine.  It is something I have to invest my time and energy in if I want to navigate safely and efficiently.  Perhaps my Father forgot how I was with driving his boat but then again maybe not because after about 15 minutes his stress levels became just a little too high and he was right back in the drivers seat of his big truck that nearly took over the road.  

Life in general isn't something we can just coast along while hoping we'll accomplish the task ahead.  The time I coasted once before, while navigating my Father's fishing boat nearly had us come to grinding stop and with me very tempted to jump over board for obvious reasons... I'd rather face the cold water then a slightly ok, no so slightly angry Father with his net worth sinking to the bottom of a river.... thankfully somehow, in the midst of some very heavy fog somebody got on the radio to warn me and as a result I made the necessary adjustments.  

When the water became rough was another time I thought I could coast along but when the boat took a sudden nose dive to the bottom of this wave only for it to come crashing over completely engulfing the boat I knew this wasn't something I could just coast through but I didn't know what to do so I just held on.  Where was my Father you ask?  Good question.  He was fast asleep in his bunk.  After a couple of powerful jolts my Father woke up and jumped up and re-gained control of the boat.  And well, I've had enough encounters with my Father to feel a slight bit of pressure to try and do what I can but I didn't know what to do!  And I failed to get help when I could have.

With tears streaming down my face I got what it was that God began to show me through this experience.  I began to confess to God all of what I thought was wrong with my life including all my pain and the confusion I had been living in and really began to cry out to God for Him to show me His ways that I could walk in His ways.  I had faith in Jesus Christ and a relationship with Him but... the only thing is, at some point I had stopped cultivating my relationship with Jesus and just ended up coasting along.  It was like Jesus had become an afterthought, or something added as part of my life instead of Jesus permeating His life in me. There is a huge difference between Jesus being in us, dwelling in us, and moving in and through us, then there is with Jesus be just a part of our life as if there are times he's pushed off to the side.  Having Jesus permeate His life in us means that our life is defined through and in Him and our experiences become subjective to each individual person but Jesus Christ never changes and God's word never changes, His truth yesterday is the same truth today and His word for yesterday is the same word for today.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are you ways my ways, declares the Lord, for as the heavens are higher then the earth, so are my ways higher then your ways, and  my thoughts then your thoughts.  For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return from there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty but it shall accomplish that which I purpose and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. ~ Isaiah 55:8-11

When God begins to convict us of our ways and calls us to embrace another way He doesn't do this without intending on giving us everything that we need so that His will is accomplished in our lives.  And when He calls us to surrender the things which we cherish in our flesh and our heart of hearts, He does not do this without the desire to give us a new heart and a love for the new and for what is holy.  And He does not call us into what is unrealistic for His power and ability to accomplish in our lives.  It may very well look unrealistic and impossible from where we are because all we see is what we're surrounded by but just maybe God is calling us to see our life not from our own perspective but from His.