4 Reasons Why People Leave the Post Gay Movement

This has been on my heart and mind for some time now.  Over the last few months I've been in dialogue and some pretty difficult debate over the post gay movement, also known as ex-gay.  The term post gay is a relatively new term and I much prefer the term post gay vs ex-gay for a number of different reasons I'll get into later.  Last week Vancouver celebrated the 33rd annual Pride Parade and Pride Week.  I was in attendance at the parade because I never actually watched a Pride Parade before and quite honestly wanted the experience.  I was surprised by how big Vancouver's Pride Parade is.  The organization keeps extending the route to accommodate the number of people coming to watch the parade.  Last year there was an estimated number of over 400 000 people in attendance.  I heard this year had about 150 floats and the parade itself lasted 2 hours.  I don't think I was ever at or involved in any parade that lasted 2 hours before.  I can certainly say that I wasn't  surprised by how entertaining it was.  Most of us, who know the subculture know that we can usually expect a very entertaining parade.  And we all know that the subculture, the people, are much more then just the parade.  That said, the parade reflects a lot and a lot of which I found myself grieved over.  I was grieving over a lost city, a lost group of people.  I was grieving over the number of people who were obsessed by body parts and everything sexual.  Quite honestly honestly the Pride Organization should have had an Asthera pole set up on a Baal float because really the major theme was very consumed by sexuality along with balloons made to look like certain body parts... and everyone creating a shrine for the body parts, this is no different then the worship of Baal.  It sounds kinda extreme but the worship of Baal didn't actually look much different, OK well, I doubt they had balloons but one would wonder if balloons existed back in Jesus time if they'd use them as well.  

I am amazed by the grace of God, that He would engage us right where we're at and draw us towards Himself.  The grace of God is not earned it is a gift.  As I recognize the grace of God as a gift I can't help but to recognize the tension we live in.  Here is the tension, it is by the grace of God that we are saved not by works lest any man should boast... faith without works is dead.  Let me unpack this.  Faith will produce fruit but even as I write this I recognize that I am talking about two separate issues that often times are inter-weaved together into one topic.  And just as these two separate topics are inter-weaved together into one topic so is salvation and discipleship.  The question should rather be, am I settling for less than God's best for my life?  Is there more to life then what I am currently experiencing?  Am I selling God short?  Surely God calls us always into a much fuller life and often times when we're mortifying passions and desires that seem so natural for us we can't always see the fuller life that God is leading us into.  And often times it's our short shortsightedness and narrowlistic perspective on the journey we're starting that will give way for the potential of walking away from the journey altogether.

Over the years, both by experience and by observation I've learned and have seen 5 major reasons why people walk away from the post gay movement and I would like to spend the latter part of this post to address these 5 reasons.  I'm certain that this is not the entire list that could be found but I believe that these are 5 critical reasons that I believe we should take into consideration.  I kinda wish that when I first came to surrender to the Lord all areas of my sexuality and seek God's intended purpose for me that somebody sat me down and told me these things.  Sure, I grew up in a church culture of learning about becoming a living sacrifice, the salvation message always included a message of counting the cost.  Before I continue, consider the following passage of scripture...It's interesting  

John 5:2-8
English Standard Version (ESV)
 ²Now there is in Jerusalem by^(A) the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic^[a] called Bethesda,^[b] which has five roofed colonnades. ³In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and^(B) paralyzed.^[c] 5One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. ⁶When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be healed?" ⁷The sick man answered him, "Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me." ⁸Jesus said to him, ^(C) "Get up, take up your bed, and walk."

It's interesting, one would think that if you're at the pool for 38 years the answer would be of course.  I don't think anyone would stay at the pool for 38 years and not want healing.  Or, would they? With healing comes responsibility, with healing comes work, and often times our healing comes as we get up from the ground, pick up our proverbial mat, and start walking.  Salvation is free, being delivered is free.  When Israel was delivered from the hand of Pharaoh they left Egypt but they entered into a slew of trials and a slew of battles, and the work of their lives to conquer the land God lead them into.  One option was to wander the desert which they had done for one whole generation, wandering around in no man's land being neither here or there with no real sense of purpose or identity as a Nation.  The other option, was to move forward in faith knowing that as they enter battle to conquer the land God handed over to them God would be with them.  Israel still had to engage in battle.  The question is, do you want to settle for less than or do you want the full promises of God in your life?  We can live a life of fullness but what if God wants to give you blessing that overflows with all of His goodness?  Many Christians settle for far less than what the Lord desires to give.  We see the glass full and think that's all there is but there's more.  The Promise Land that God promised Israel was flowing with milk and honey, it was flowing with richness and blessing.

Here are 4 reasons why I believe many walk away from the post gay movement... 

1. Agenda

I'm not advocating an agenda free journey but it is possible to have the wrong agenda altogether.  

Watch this video.   

2. Misconception

I would encourage people to go to the source.  It is possible to have a false idea or misconception about a group of people and what their testimony is about.  When I first began this journey I had some false perceptions and had some real misconceptions about the whole ex-gay movement.  It lead to some real disillusionment in my life not because of the journey itself but because of some of the misconceptions I had.  I'm grateful to the friends I've had who helped me see the lies I believed and the misconceptions I had about the movement and who challenged my thinking, my posturing, and the lifestyle I was involved in.  

    

3. Egypt in their hearts

When Israel first left Egypt the ran into what seemed like a dead end.  They were lead to this river to great to cross with Egypt running after them to take them back into slavery.  Miraculously the river parted and they crossed over but a while later as they were still on the journey they began to complain about everything... it seemed much harder, life seemed more difficult, the road ahead seemed uncertain.  They began to believe they had it better in Egypt, even the food tasted better.  Israel forgot the oppression they were under as slaves.  They forgot about the number of years they cried for a deliverer.  In their hearts they began to turn back to Egypt.  Just remember this one thing, Satan will always remind us of how fun things used to be, he'll never remind us of the painful consequences we'd later have to deal with.

  

4. Isolated from community 

This journey is not meant to be walked out alone.  We must have a few safe people who know our stories and where we're coming from and who will encourage us in the direction we're wanting to go in.  It is important to have the right kind of support and to be involved in a church that will extend both grace and truth.  

Here are some suggestions...  

Get one on one mentoring, find a spiritual director, or find a counselor.

Get connected with a married couple if possible and not necessarily people with a similar background as yourself.  It's important to interact with people who do not share the same struggle as we share.  It's interesting how many people in the church who don't struggle with same sex attraction and believe that they have nothing to offer because of their self proclaimed ignorance.  I believe they have more to offer to those of us who do struggle with same sex attraction then what we may realize.

Begin to develop healthy non-sexual relationships with members of the same gender and learn boundaries.

Begin to socialize in mixed gender groups.

So there from my own experiences and observations some things to consider.  

As you do, in closing watch this video.