Diversity and Tolerance... Really ??

In recent times Exodus International has been the subject and center of huge controversy because of a recently banned iPhone App and documentary being shown by Lisa Ling who interestingly enough is a gay rights advocate and celebrity spokesperson for the No H8 campaign which is in support of gay marriage in California. I find it ironic that a pro gay journalist would come under fire by gay activists who are finding her documentary as offensive. I don't know about you and what you think but you can watch the full episode here. Watch the video for yourself, see for yourself if she is portraying LGBTQ identified people in a negative light and see if you think gay activists should have the right to pressure Oprah Winfrey to fire Lisa Ling because of the documentary she did. I believe that Lisa Ling has just raised the bar when it comes to professional journalism by presenting an unbiased documentary that gives equal space to various people in the wide range of responses to faith and homosexuality.


In a recent blog posted by Alan Chambers he writes...

"Here is my point. It is becoming apparently clear that there is no room in this culture for diversity of thought or opinion. It goes beyond Apple having the right to discriminate. It is the fact that simply offering someone support as THEY CHOOSE to live their life through the filter of their faith rather than their sexuality is now considered not only offensive, but also dangerous. People with biblical convictions are now being labeled bigoted and homophobic for simply upholding someone’s right to self-determine how they want to live their lives. It’s astounding..." See the full article here.

In another blog posting published Jeff Buchanan writes,

"As you can well imagine, Exodus has received an outpouring of responses ranging from support to threats of bodily harm. Everyone from Star Trek’s George Takei to author Jodie Picoult is weighing in and unfortunately, many who vehemently oppose us have bought the activists’ faulty label calling it the “Gay Cure App.” Nothing could be further from the truth. For more than 35 years, Exodus International’s mission has been to help those struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction to live a life congruent with biblical teaching. A “cure” for any issue is not within our aim or our ability. We do, however, unapologetically believe that Jesus Christ changes hearts and lives and that the Bible offers life-giving truth about who we are and who we were created to be." You can read more of this article here.

Of course when controversy like this one comes up while knowing this is for many, myself included a topic that touches close to home at a deeply personal level and while some are in the business of making this a political issue we run the risk of ostracizing the very person who is conflicted and struggling to reckon with their faith and sexuality. We have to understand that not only are we living in a world that is filled with diversity and their is very diverse responses even among LGBTQ identified people but also among those with a Post Gay biblical world view of scriptures. There are very real people who are taking an honest look at their faith journey and their sexuality and who desire to walk out their life, the best way they know how, in congruence with their understanding of scripture and it's been my observation that many who are gay Christian are just wanting to not have people shut them out or disregard them and their journey and folks who have benefited from Exodus wish the same for themselves. This really is not about Apple's decision to ban the App but in today's culture, society, and technological advancement we are currently seeing an attack against our constitutional rights and freedom to free speech and separation of church and state. And while this may seem a little extreme but as I've been observing the various responses from LGBTQ identified people, to gay Christians, to Exodus and folks in support of Exodus, to a slew of others across the board what I see is that our freedoms are being taken away bit by bit and these are the same freedoms that many in America and Canada have fought and died to protect. My question is, will Remembrance Day/Veterans Day November 11th become only lip service and something a day we go through the motions of honoring men and women who fought and died for our freedom while actually in truth forgetting what they did. Observing Remembrance Day I often questioned what exactly are we to remember. Are we to remember just the service of men and women who died for our country or are we to remember the fact that we live in a country that respects our freedom because of the many who died to maintain our freedoms, freedoms by the way that are currently and slowly being taken away like a frog being boiled alive in water. It's all very subtle but one day if this continues it will soon be politically and socially offensive to even say that Jesus is the only way to God. If you really do want to hold our government accountable to our constitutional rights and freedoms we really do need to weigh in heavily the trend that we currently see in our society and culture. This has nothing to do with current accusations of homophobia and it's not even about Apple's right to ban the Exodus App. It's everything to do with our freedom to self determine the way we want to live our life, it's all about our constitutional rights and freedoms that few are holding our government accountable towards maintaining.

When I first came to Exodus I was hurting and conflicted and quite honestly tormented. I was depressed and suicidal. I was not only ashamed of myself but hated myself. I had to reckon not only with my gender identity but also with my faith and sexual orientation. 18 years later I am still same sex attracted and I am still pursuing my faith. As I pursue my faith I do the best I can to live my life in congruence with my faith. Over the years as I have journeyed with God there has come healing and change in many ways. On one hand being so conflicted with and disconnected with my own gender if I had been really vocal about such disconnect some might have said my suicidal thoughts and torment within my mind would be because I needed to accept a transgender identity and not be truly at peace with myself unless I went ahead with a sex change, therefore the suicidal thoughts are the result of homophobia in our society and that if I could just accept myself and be in a supportive community and away from homophobia then I'll be much healthier, more content, and more at peace with myself. So I withdrew from my church community and I withdrew from my family not knowing how they'd respond to my deep personal internal conflict surrounding my sexuality and gender identity. The conflict continued and increased because as much as I wanted to walk away from the church I couldn't walk away from my faith in Christ. Others would say, the church has fed into you such homophobia that really in order to be at peace with yourself is you really need to come to the place where there is no conflict.... you're either gay and Christian or just simply gay and have to live the rest of your life resolved to the fact that you're gay and so maybe your faith itself is what's driving your suicidal thoughts and hatred of self. Well, that's a lot of maybe's and as it turns out none of that was really ever true. On the flip side of growing content within my body and having embraced my femininity much of the conflict including my self hatred and thoughts of suicide dissolved. I have embraced the woman that God created me to be and have come to appreciate my femininity the way God designed my femininity. I have grown to accept the things about my personality and character traits that are not stereotypically what we view as femininity. I have come to accept and be OK with being same sex attracted so it's no longer a source of conflict for me. I have come to accept the fact that when I gather with other women I am a woman among many different kinds of women. I live my life through the lens of my faith not my sexuality. I journey with God while He affirms me and calls me. When God called me out of homosexuality He called me into a much fuller life then what I previously experienced when I had embraced the gay identity while exploring the transgender identity. In actuality, the more I explored the transition into transgenderism the more disconnected and the more depressed I became. Being gay didn't seem to be the right fit, being trans didn't either. The only thing that brought any kind of resolve to the inter turmoil within was to surrender to Jesus and to invite Him into my places of wounding, the places of questions, and the places of conflict. When I saw the resources that Exodus offered it seemed to be the only resource out there that really spoke to my specific conflict and seemed to be more congruent with my faith and personal convictions that were developing long before I ever found out that ministries like Exodus even existed. What can I say but that God, the very one who created me spoke into my identity as a woman and began telling me that He created me woman and it was good.

Today I am still same sex attracted but my focus is not becoming straight. I don't think I'll ever be completely straight as though homosexuality had never been my reality and experience but I know very much so my journey is about reckoning with who God created me to be as a woman and as a result to see my femininity as God designed it to be emerge as I receive from the Lord His affirmation and acceptance as His daughter. That in and of itself tapped into the place where I had been tormented and wounded the most. No longer was I this rejected orphan but I became a daughter, the daughter of a King, one who's precious in the sight of the Lord not somebody abhorrent. Who helped facilitate my journey? I have to give much credit to Exodus and ministries associated with Exodus. If anything, it's been a privilege of mine to have the opportunity to meet folks at Exodus. I am here today because of Exodus and ministries associated with Exodus, it's been a real blessing to me.