Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have a life that is riddled with pain and suffering or a life that seems to have more difficulty than others? This is a question I tend to ask a lot. It would be fairly easy for me to play the card of victim and drown in my sorrows because growing up I didn't have what most people take for granted and play the victim card because of all the injustice I've experienced. Everywhere I turn in some way or another I have faced marginalization, disenfranchisement and living in a family that has been affected by the Indian Residential Schools. I have had people unfairly judge and criticize me. I have had motives questioned. I have had people turn their backs on me when I have needed support. I have experienced racism. I have been discriminated against. I have been rejected. I have been labeled. I spent the good majority of my childhood crying myself to sleep at night and battled through intense thoughts of suicide all because of a deep seeded hatred of myself and feelings of hopelessness. I have been in need in more ways than one. I have struggled in many ways and I can only believe the reason why I'm still here is because I have a story, a testimony. There is absolutely no way I could have walked through all this without Jesus.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
One who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry, even the bitter tastes sweet
~ Provers 13:12, 27:7
I haven't felt much hope lately. It feels like I've lost the passion I once had. I've wrestled with my feelings and emotions that have screamed for my attention while the truth found in God's word seemed to be hidden obscurely from my sight and my heart painfully divided. I've been here before. But in all things, through all things, my hope is in Jesus Christ. If I stand, it is because of Jesus. If I walk, it is because of Jesus. If I fall down and get back up and keep on walking, it is all because of Jesus. How I feel can be the most unpredictable thing, my emotions can run deep and be felt profoundly and even more so as I continue to journey with Christ towards healing while submitting my life including my sexuality to God, honoring Him in my sexuality and in my chaste singleness. I shouldn't be a bit surprised that I will go through such times of intense struggles. I had lived for years emotionally detached, suppressing my feelings instead of actually processing through them. My heart became sick and I was starving for authentic love and connection with others. It is only inevitable to experience seasons of intense struggle as I become more integrated emotionally and with my sense of identity in Christ and as a woman created in God's Image. Satan will always come up with a counterfeit to what is true and authentic and being the serpent he really is, the counterfeit is almost always if not all the time tailor made to fit all our deficits like a mirage. It's not really the oasis in the middle of the desert we thought it was.
Who do you turn to in the face of deficits, your legitimate needs, and your longings?
Wisdom is the word of God... the living, breathing, relevant word of God which is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. It is our bread and our sustenance and we can't live without it. When we base our motives on our heart feelings, we can easily be strayed off course and onto paths which may feel good, but are far from the best for us and lead us to destruction. ~ Kenny
If you are between the ages of 18 to 35 this may be the opportunity of a life time for young aspiring writers, bloggers, and virtually any young writer with a story of God's grace and work in your life. If you are a citizen and/or resident of Canada, USA and/or USA associated territories, the UK, and the Republic of Ireland and are between the ages of 18 - 35 this may be the opportunity of a life time for you or for anyone with a story to tell. If you are experienced and/or professionally trained and capable of writing a full length 75,000 - 100,000 word non-fiction book then think seriously about submitting material for this amazing opportunity that may be a once in a life time opportunity that is different from any other awards or contest being offered in this field. The date this contest opens is on March 1st but it's not too late to consider the opportunity.
Not so long ago a commitment of faith to Jesus Christ was made stronger yet by reading outstanding Christian testimonies of the day... books that all recounted the enthralling stories of followers of Jesus who lived lives of courage and grace... The golden age of testimony writing, though it never ended entirely, seemed to fade out with the waning of the Jesus movement in the 1970's. The Aikman Opportunity Award provides an opportunity for young Christian writers to write and publish outstanding Christian testimony books. The top prize is $20,000 for the winning writer of a fully formed 4000 word book proposal which will demonstrate not only good writing skills but the reporting skills and experience needed to produce a blockbuster Christian testimony book.
~ Dr. David Aikman.
Article submissions are being accepted as of March 1, 2013 with the deadline of May 1, 2013 with the finalist being announced June 1, 2013. So if you know anyone or you yourself feel this is something you would like to participate in and can meet the requirements then take a closer look at the Aikman Opportunity Award.
In the middle of taking driving lessons my instructor says, "look in the direction you want to go because where you look that is the direction you will take your vehicle" ... so it is in our lives! Where do you want to be in 5 to 10 years from now? This is true in the physical but this is also true spiritually, in our relationship with Jesus, and the direction we take our lives. As it says in proverbs 29:18a, "where there is no vision, the people perish" Put it to you this way, John Paul Jackson from Streams Ministries says, "What you fear you empower and what you focus on you make room for," What is it you are spending your days focusing on? What are you making room for in your life today? Are you focusing on lustful images found in magazines or bill board advertisements wishing you had their body or drifting away into some lust filled fantasy that only leads to one dimensional relating and unhealthy expectations in every relationship? Are you focusing on other people in their happiness and the relationship they have that you wish you had? Do you catch yourself thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side? Or are you thinking about ways in which you could make the seemingly lifeless grass your standing on sprout with life and a vibrant colour of green?
There is always a choice to be made, even if, we didn't choose the hand we've been dealt in life...
We are confronted with choices every single day and pending on the choice we make it will either be a hindrance in our journey with Christ or that choice will result in a more fulfilling life. We don't usually get to choose our circumstances in life but we do have a choice in how we respond. I'll be 35 in a couple of weeks, I'm single, I don't have any children, and the prospect of marriage is not any closer to becoming a reality then the day I chose to sacrifice lesbian relationships in the pursuit of my Christian faith and relationship with Jesus. I'm not here on my blog to tell people how to live their lives or to judge those who are gay or lesbian... I'm nobodies judge. I am thankful that God is judge because he's far more just and far more righteous, and far more merciful then myself or anybody else I know. I have this quote posted on my fridge that says, "I am here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know" But as flawed as I am loving people well is what I desire. Loving people well isn't a walk in the park and for somebody like myself who can easily become withdrawn, detached, and fragmented, loving people well is not something I'm hugely successful in, perhaps because it means for me to allow for myself to become vulnerable, vulnerable to rejection and to getting hurt. Loving people well means to open myself up and to allow for others to know me and it means for authenticity. It means that I may have to ask for my friends to extend oodles and oodles of grace towards me. And when conflict arises... which it usually does... you will quickly find out if what you have is an authentic healthy friendship developing and one that makes room for a grace that allows forgiveness and creates a bridge towards mutual respect or if that friendship was never meant to be. It takes courage! So I'm not here telling people how to live their lives but I am here expressing my faith and sharing a little bit of my own personal journey. Perhaps you and I have a similar path we're walking and you find hope and encouragement while reading my blog... cool! Perhaps you are gay or lesbian and you wonder if you could have a relationship with Jesus... and to that I say... yes you can! Jesus desires a relationship with all of us no matter what our background and desires to reveal Himself to all of us and take us on a journey with Him. I would however challenge you to throw away your agenda as you pursue a relationship with Jesus. After all this is a relationship we're talking about and in a relationship there are at least two people... two people with a voice and two people with ears... and two people who want to invest in the relationship... You may be surprised where He leads you.
I was feeling uplifted in the last few days and having this sense of really being covered in prayer. The last couple of days the sun has been shining and in the winter that like never happens here. I was feeling disappointed and the thought of turning 35 has been kinda depressing because I'm not where I want to be right now and I'm not as far along in my journey as I would like to be. And it is relatively easy for me at this time to dwell on the fact that the grass really is greener on the other side. And right now it does feel like trusting Jesus is not enough right now but as I wrestled with how I felt I came to realize that I'm not just trusting in Jesus for the sake of trusting him. I am trusting in His character and I am trusting that He knows what is ultimately best for me. I am trusting in His goodness.
I was reminded of a story in the gospels earlier today. It was a story of one of many encounters Jesus had with people. This one particular story is often referred to as the double healing. This was a story I felt lead to share with one of the ladies in my small group I have a privilege to assist in leading today at a Living Water's Day Retreat. I had actually forgotten about this particular encounter a blind man had with Jesus until it came up today in small group. It's a story that has brought great encouragement to me and I'm certain this is true for others as well and I knew this was a special word for the young lady in my small group who's just starting her journey and it's a long road ahead. So feeling lead I shared this story from the gospels. As we sat there in prayer inviting Jesus to be present I began to ponder this encounter. There are so many stories of Jesus healing blind people. What's different about this story? If you came from the charismatic circles I came from then there is a part to this encounter that is often over looked because we focus on the miracle of this man whose sight had been restored.
It's not so much what you see but what you don't see...
If you think about the years this man sat begging for food and no doubt marginalized by society. This man was no doubt judged for circumstances that was beyond his control and he was probably a man that nobody wanted to associate with. Along comes Jesus and this man's life is changed forever. The story is that Jesus takes dirt and his spit and rubs it on the eyes of this man. At first it was only a partial healing. The man could see but the picture wasn't clear. So Jesus takes the blind man by the hand and leads him through the village. What is not seen all that clear is how long Jesus walked hand in hand with this man and what developed as a result of Jesus being willing to associate himself with a person marginalized by society. What was it like for this blind man to be seen hand in hand with Jesus. In the moments that went by as they walked side by side with one another. What went through this man's mind? What did they talk about? What was the conversation that wasn't recorded? How long did it take? We don't know much of the personal conversation that we assume had taken place but we do know it was a heart to heart moment. Have you ever done this trust exercise where you allow somebody to lead you around? My grade 8 drama teacher (who taught such actors as Jason Priestly who became popular in the hit TV series 90210 and Will Sasso who got his start on MAD TV as well as a few others who became quite successful in their acting careers) She lead us in these trust exercises. I did this one exercise and for a few moments I was lead around the school grounds completely blind hand in hand with one of my class mates leading me around the school yard. I can tell you the longer the walk the more heart to heart the encounter became and the more vulnerable I felt. What we don't see is the story of inner healing and what we see in the physical runs so parallel to the healing of our wounded hearts and our wounded soul. Then Jesus again takes the dirt and his spit rubbing the mud in the eye's of the blind man at the edge of the village. The second attempt the blind man's eyes were restored. How many of us want a quick fix and want to be healed and done with it? With everybody else Jesus healed quickly .. why was it different for this man? Why did Jesus spend more time with this man? Why did the restoration of this man's eye sight take this whole process of Jesus taking him for a walk? Why the longer process? I believe it's to show that healing will look different from person to person and the way that Jesus heals will look different from person to person. It's also to show that sometimes it takes a little longer. There were two miracles that day. Jesus ministered to both the need for physical sight to be restored and my guess is that Jesus healed the broken image this man had of himself... he affirmed this man's identity and instead of allowing the circumstances in his life be what defines him. Jesus came and restored this man's identity. He was no longer that blind man begging Jesus to heal him but he was now a friend of Jesus.
Yesterday was not only the Inauguration day and the swearing in of Obama for his second term as President of the United State. Just re-visiting my blog, as it turns out I had a slight error on Martin Luther King's bday but not wrong with last the previous day being MLK Day. Most of us probably didn't have a clue, like myself, until I started seeing on Facebook a trend. This trend was to post quotes made famous by Martin Luther King Jr in honour of who he is and what he stood for. I believe for those of us who are of First Nations descent can learn a lot about the struggles and challenges that African American People faced at the start of the Civil Rights Movement and the history that lead up the day Martin Luther King Jr stood in the Nations Capital giving his I Have A Dream speech on the 28th of August 1963. 50 years later, the gold anniversary of a prolific speech that changed the course of history and united humanity in ways never seen before. We have come so far in the endeavour to bring about equality for all and yet there is so much more that we have yet to see. When we see the strained relationship between the government of Canada and the Indigenous Peoples here, the strained relationship between the American government and Native American People, and the struggles that Indigenous Peoples around the world face today... the work that began with the Civil Rights Movement is a work being continued with the voices of our First Nations People arising in such an unprecedented way, as never seen before. The sleeping giant has awakened. Let justice flow like a might river.
I have a dream for Kanata! (I Have a Dream - Canadian Aboriginal Version)
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our Nation. Two Nations came together to create a bond of peace, harmony, and to live side by side, honouring each other. Nearly 200 years later we have yet to see the Canadian Government honour the Treaty that was suppose to govern a reconciled relationship of two sovereign nations sharing the land of Turtle Island, such a Treaty could have been the start of a friendship to endure through all generations, for as long as the sun gave light and the grass grew. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to many Indigenous People who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the dark night of the captivity in their own land forced into the margins of society hidden away as if to be thought our People didn't exist, denigrated and unacknowledged as a sovereign nation, a sovereign people.
But years later, Indigenous People still far from free, far from receiving the promises made in a Treaty that was for the purposes of unity and mutual sharing of a land once rich with sea life, wild life, and clean air, we are still far from free but held captive by injustice in the wake of genocide, assimilation, the residential schools and disenfranchisement. Instead of justice, instead of mutual sharing of our land government policies had been constructed, the very policies that influenced South Africa's Apartheid System, Segregation of African American People, and the Jewish Holocaust. Many Canadians and Americans are quick to decree the injustice that took place against the African American People and the Jewish People during WWII but continue to turn a blind eye towards our Indigenous People despite how such events vastly accepted as injustice is rooted in another injustice many neglect to truly acknowledge. Years later, we're still having to pick up the pieces of what was left, the life of Canadian Aboriginals and Indigenous Peoples around the world sadly crippled by the manacles of the residential schools, colonialism, and continued raping of our land. Years later, Canadian Aboriginals live on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. Years later Indigenous Peoples still languished in the corners of American Society and finds themselves an exile in their own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come to our Nations Capital of Ottawa to cash a check. When the Great British Crown signed a Treaty our Canadian Government inherited, the magnificent words of unity and of mutual prosperity, and a means to govern our relationship together from one nation to another. A Treaty that come with obligations and sacred agreement that would endure through all time, that we could live as brothers and sisters in land we all now call our home and native land, true north strong and free.
It is obvious today that Canada has defaulted on our sacred and legal agreement insofar as her Indigenous Peoples are concerned. Instead of honouring this sacred and legal agreement, Canada has given Canadian Aboriginals a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds" But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity in this great nation. So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind Canada of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or take the tranquillizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of our Treaty. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of the residential schools, disenfranchisement, and the raping of our land, to the sunlight of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood and sisterhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of now. This bitter cold winter time of our Indigenous Peoples legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating Spring of new life and freedom that comes with equality. 2013 is not an end but a beginning. Those who hope that Canadian Aboriginals just needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquillity in Canada until our Indigenous People are granted our Treaty rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright summer day of justice emerges.
But there is something I must say to my People who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to denigrate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvellous new militancy which has engulfed or Native communities must not lead us to a distrust of all white people and settlers, for many of our white brothers and sisters as evidence by standing with us in our Idle No More movement, who have stood, clapping their hands in acknowledgement of our pursuit, joining hands in our friendship/round dances, and picking up the drum in solidarity with our efforts, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.
As we walk we must take the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of Idle No More, "When will we be satisfied " We can never be satisfied as long as our native people are victims of police brutality and the neglect of the unresolved missing women's inquiry. We can never be satisfied as long as our Native People are silenced to just accept this new era of colonialism. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream... Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today my friend, so even though we face difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted within the heart of every Canadian. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "we hold that these truths to be self evident: that all men are created equal." and our quest to honour the vast diversity within our nation. I have a dream that one day we will come together as brothers and sisters. I have a dream, that one day that in the state of the bitter cold of winter and fall of injustice and the bitter cold of oppression will be transformed to a harvest of freedom and justice. I have a dream that one day future generations will live in a nation where people will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream! I have a dream today, that we will all join hands together, black, white, red, and yellow ... and dance a friendship dance the round dance... joining hands in friendship, together, as brothers and sisters, living together in peace and unity.
I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day, every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made smooth, and the crooked paths be made straight, and the glory of our Creator and beauty of Mother Earth shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every reserve and traditional territory, from every province and city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black, white, yellow, red ... Jews and Gentiles, Catholic and Protestant, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro Spiritual "free at last! free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!
This last summer has been a very educational summer for me. It has been a time of transition, a time of change, a time for renewed understandings, a time of my faith being challenged in every direction. There is that sense of uneasiness, uncertainty, and in part I'm facing my fear and learning to trust God in ways I've never done before. I lean less on what I think is right and lean more on the character of God and trusting in my relationship with Jesus regardless if what I do or believe is what other people do or believe while leaning more on God's holy spirit to continue His work in me and in the lives of others who claim Jesus as Lord and Saviour. Contrary to what you might believe based upon what you've seen on Facebook I'm not really an activist but I can only watch people suffer for so long before I have to do what I can to help create necessary change. And the kind of change I'm talking about is not just an Indigenous issue, Idle No More goes far beyond a First Nations issue and it goes far beyond Indigenous rights and far beyond Human Rights. Change isn't something we're comfortable with. My opinions probably isn't something that most people are concerned about but nonetheless I have this blog and I guess I'm going to use this blog as a platform to address all the latest posts I've had on Facebook... but then again my opinion doesn't really matter much anyway...
I don't believe I've ever been one to ever fit in. I'm always at odds, always a little different, a little unique, and not really conforming to anything. straight, gay, ex-gay, post gay, lesbian, even my gender identity has been experienced in a more fluid nature although today I am completely comfortable being a woman. I just will never conform to the stereotypical view of femininity...I'm comfortable and happy with my femininity as it is... White, Red... European, Native, Scandinavian... I am more then my ethnicity and more then how I experience my sexuality and if you know me then you know I've generally typically have and quite purposely avoided being identified with most of these labels but not necessarily distancing myself from ways of describing the reality in my life. It's just I dance to my own rhythm and it's a rhythm of my own making and the beat from my own drum. And somewhere along the way I have encountered my Creator and thus the journey begins...
Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Chief Theresa Spence...
What do these 4 people have in common?
They saw injustice, suffering, and experienced gross discrimination, and they all received horrible criticism in the face of passivity that resulted in the comforts other people had that only came as a result of apartheid / segregation type systems. These 4 stood in the gap of division and became advocates for peace and mutual respect. Idle No More folks are in battle against governmental policies that are affecting every single person not just Indigenous Peoples... everyone. Harper and the Canadian Government has stirred awake a sleeping giant. People say that the Idle No More movement will soon die but it won't because this has been 500 years in the making and prophesied 7 generations ago. What you are seeing today is just the beginning of something more grand, something that our younger generation will take and become instruments of much needed change in society. This is not just an Indigenous issue and this has little if not nothing to do with money. The whole money issue and the social problems within Native Communities issue, all that is just the straw man's argument that seeks to divert people from the real issue at hand. There are folks from every ethnic group with social problems... all you have to do is go to a hockey game and you'll see a slew of other people from other ethnic backgrounds getting drunk and stupid. In Vancouver, we only need to be reminded of our last hockey riot when the Vancouver Canuck's lost to Boston in 2011 and before that New York in 1994. The people yelled out, "Rangers Suck Rangers Suck!" Does anybody remember the '94 riot? I do... in remembering the riot in '94 and observing the game with Boston I decided to get out of the downtown area of Vancouver as soon as I could and sure enough basically after leaving the downtown core area another riot had begun. Well ... no... Rangers don't suck, the rioters suck and were stupid in '94 and just as stupid in 2011. Social problems are everywhere, not just within Native Communities.
The Real Issue Is Not Just The Real Issue But Our Response To The Real Issue
I've been quite astonished with the response I've seen by various people and the responses of others towards me as I've been posting away on Facebook pics and videos and poignant statements and profound prayers by various men and women. One such response was from this conservative evangelical white middle aged man who couldn't even spell my name right... "Hello Sara, I am going to be straight up with you. You just posted 20 status updates, way too many for my lazy sense of balance on facebook. Good luck with your campaign against idleness"... and then he unfriended me. The truth of the matter is, it is more likely that he felt exposed and instead of processing through his own world view he did what is so common among evangelical christians, to point out their perceived flaws of somebody else before acknowledging their own. Was it not Jesus who said to his disciples, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of out of your eye when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye," Then again, I have also had folks who are more gung ho about tolerance and human rights then I am and who apparently have strong values in diversity unfriend me because I posted pro-life material on Facebook which was in opposition to their own world view and ideology.. so much for tolerance and diversity. I've always said that those who preach the loudest for tolerance are themselves most intolerant and those who take diversity to extreme levels usually want people to conform to their ideology which essentially becomes more of unification then diversity. C'est La Vie! We cannot change people but we can change how we respond and influence others in such a way. And my response to all of this is, if I were to unfriend every single person with an opposing view as myself I'd be creating for myself a very lonely place. Instead, I choose to dialogue... sometimes the dialogue does become stressful especially when my opinionated self gets in the way but I'd rather engage in conversation then to castrate people out of my life and give as much time and space on social media to opposing views as myself. I'd rather strive towards loving people well before rejecting people... probably because I know the sting of rejection, unfare criticism, and judgement. I'd rather over look difference because I value diversity and tolerance. I realize that as a Christian to value diversity and tolerance can create certain challenges... I used to view the world in black and white but now I'm seeing colour and making room for the grey. Life is more lived in the grey then in the black and white. The thing about living life in the grey is that it exposes weakness, insecurities, and our fear and that brings a sense of uneasiness and maybe even anxiety. It allows for the possibility of being wrong... and who wants to be wrong?
What Is The Real Issue? If more Canadians were to understand that this issue goes far beyond Indigenous Rights and if people understood that First Nations People are battling against governmental policies in an attempt to protect all of us not just to preserve our own existence as a People but to fight for the future of all mankind. This isn't just an Indigenous issue and it's not just an environmental issue ... this is an issue affecting every single of one us. This has everything to do with the healing of our land, healing of our people, and forging a new honourable relationship with the Canadian Government with our Treaties in mind. The average Canadian knows little about what is happening in Parliament let alone anything to do with the Treaties. What is the real issue? Well.. I'm not going to spend my blog post telling your what the real issues are but in order to move forward towards truth and reconciliation educating oneself on what the real issues are becomes a necessity. I'm not talking about listening to mainstream media and right wing conservative perceptions on what the real issue is. I've seen so much deception from the Conservative Government both on a Provincial level and Federal level it frightens me, honest to goodness truth, it frightens me because people are believing the distorted facts being presented without really making an effort to truly research it themselves... the just blindly believe what they're told. I have friends who are Conservative, a few I know who work within the Conservative Party and I can attest to my friends being genuinely good people. So I'm not against the people, I'm against the people's leadership. On a political level I'm more moderate then I am completely left or completely right. I'll never vote Conservative ever again and just so we're clear even the Liberal Party tried to pass a similar Bill through Parliament and failed back then and here we see the Conservative Party doing the same exact thing. So I can't and won't vote Liberal either. And then the NDP Party is not any better when they seek to take away tax exemption status from various religious organizations and that to me infringes on religious freedom in Canada and then policies that prohibit men in some riding to run for office... I just believe in giving equal voice to both men and women and fail to see how prohibiting men from some riding's is appropriate and disagree with women who believe it's alright to have a woman's only meetings and yet would be supremely offended if men decided to exclude women. Is it alright to exclude men? Some women would argue yes but I believe that men and women compliment each other and when respected and appreciated will only create a better society.
Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada Let me ask you a question... if an organization abused you, tried to kill you, would you not require certain boundaries to be maintained if there is to be reconciliation? I don't know about you but I wouldn't be too keen on welcoming my abuser back into my home without certain boundaries and respect to me as an individual. If the Canadian Government really truly desires reconciliation then they have to understand and acknowledge the fact that reconciliation with First Nations People is not going to be a process that will happen over night. There are trust issues to be worked through, there are boundaries that need to be acknowledged etc etc .... and so far the government has apologized and yet the governmental policies are no different from past offences which only work against reconciliation. The passing of the recent omnibus Bills through parliament without proper consultation which is required in accordance with the Treaties only violates First Nations People and violates boundaries set up in the Treaties. There is so much to learn and I'm amazed at how uneducated the great majority of us really are when it comes to First Nations issues, the Treaties, and what exactly Idle No More is about. For there to be healing there needs to be forgiveness but for there to be reconciliation there needs to be truth. For relationship to be restored there needs to be mutual respect and the honouring of boundaries. When I see what is happening right now with Idle No More I see huge potential for something grand. I see the potential for all of us who call Turtle Island or home to come to a place of unity and agreement to protecting our home, becoming stewards of what our Creator has given to us. We are called, every single one of us, to be stewards of the gifts that we have received. We are called to be stewards of this land, stewards of our bodies and sexuality, stewards of our finances, and our every other gift we have that could be used to bring glory to God, and we are called to be stewards within the context of our relationships / friendship ... how we respond to those around us regardless of social status, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. We called to love one another not necessarily agree 100% with one another. Even the original 12 disciples didn't agree 100% with one another but were at times divided... even for a time parting ways before reconciling and coming back together in unity amidst diversity. When it comes to the Idle No More Movement I see huge potential, I see a sleeping giant being stirred awake, and a People rising up in dignity which hasn't been seen for hundreds of years, I see a People rising up to their destiny our Creator has given, I see the potential for something grand for all of us. Idle No More is for all of us not just Indigenous People but for all Canadians, for all Americans, for all of those who call Turtle Island home. Idle No More transcends race, ethnicity, transcends Indigenous Rights and Human Rights and calls to return back to peace and back to what the Treaties were originally intended for. To coexist together peacefully and in harmony with one another.
I wasn't really planning on taking so much time off from writing in my blog but a week turned into a couple which turned into a few more weeks and now before I know it Christmas and the New Year has come upon us... and if there is any legitimacy behind the Mayan Calendar a whole new era is now upon us as well.
I will be taking the rest of this Christmas off from writing in my blog but I plan to start up again in the New Year. So, I hope many of you will return to my blog in 2013!
Anyway... some closing thoughts for 2012 ...
Dream hard and reach far ... reach for the stars !
Life is too short to be afraid of failure. Many of us hold back, myself included... we hold back from our true potential in life while being worried about what others think of us and then we become afraid about failure so much so that we really don't become all that God has intended for us and what God desires to accomplish in us and through us. What are your dreams? Dream Big ! I had a Bible College instructor of mine who used to always say to those of us in his class ... dream big because we have all been created for greatness!
There is a cost to intimacy in any relationship. There is a certain amount of vulnerability and trust and when it comes to our relationship with Papa God obedience becomes an integral part to our relationship with Him especially if we desire intimacy with Papa God. Disobedience and living life the way we want to live our life could potentially be the greatest threat to our relationship with Him. God doesn't call us to obedience because he's a task master who sets us up to fail but he invites us towards trust and obedience really is the greatest way that we can show God that we trust Him, especially when it comes to our sexuality and what we do with out bodies... being that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit when we sin against our bodies we're sinning against God and all that He created for holiness. I'm starting a new chapter in my life which is to think of obedience as trusting in God, trusting that He has a much better plan and purpose for my life then what I have currently experienced to date. It is costing me a certain amount of sacrifice but it is our great calling as Christians... to take up our cross to follow Christ and to pursue Him and a life of holiness.
No challenge has come upon us without God knowing... even before we were conceived in our Mother's womb God knew everything we'd experience and everything that we would have to endure. Our destiny really is to show how great God is when we turn around everything that could have been used for evil and use it for good. What God intended isn't usually what becomes our experience... what becomes our weakness can be turned around and become what makes us strong when we allow for our greatest of challenges to be what changes us ultimately so that when everything is said and done regardless of the challenges, the difficulties, the hick-ups, whatever ... all things can be turned around and used for God's glory. Our darkest times can be turned around and be what shines a light into the darkness of somebody else's life and in the end makes the worst of times worth it. We were created for more ... it really just depends... we can allow our life's circumstances to define us and to determine which path to take our life or we can allow for our Creator to be who defines us while taking us beyond our perceived limitations and when it comes to what makes us different and unique ... we can begin to see that we are a gift to the world. You could be struggling with same sex attraction... you could see that same sex attraction as not a struggle but regardless of who you are, what circumstances are in your life, you are, we are, a gift to the world.
We are a new creation in Christ. A new creation lives differently, responds differently, relates to life differently... world view changes... and what was not possible in the past becomes our present reality in much the same way a caterpillar becomes a butterfly... As we approach 2013 what are you hoping for?
The reality is... some of us will experience a conflicting reality between our faith and sexuality and will have to respond the best way we know how with what we have. For some of the reality of being same sex attracted could very likely be a reality in our life until the day we die. At least, it's been my observation that the majority of people will have to reckon with same sex attraction because it's a rarity that anybody can say that they have experienced a complete eradication of same sex attraction. My experiences are not what defines me and certainly does not determine the life I will live but I am not banking on a life free of same sex attraction but I will live out the rest of my life with the hard cold reality that I might not change in my sexual orientation and I'm ok with that but even still I look at the ways I have changed and have matured in my faith and relationship with Jesus Christ. The greatest testimony to my freedom in Christ is the fact that I have the ability to choose what I do with my body... I am not a slave to the passions and lusts of my flesh and I am completely comfortable in my own skin when I notice an attractive woman just like any "very straight" woman who will notice a very attractive woman. Attractions are attractions ... big deal ... it's not as life controlling as it once was... but that's not to say that I won't experience times of deep internal struggle. It is in times like these I lean towards my God and the cross of Christ and learn to trust in Him for the plan and purpose He has for my life... at times it is a Christian reality that we could be called to make great sacrifices and I trust that there is great rewards for those who may have to pick up a cross that might be weightier then others. I believe God looks on with great compassion on those who are called to take up a weightier cross... the greater our suffering the closer we are to the sufferings of Christ and therefore the greater the glory we share in Christ.
God Bless you all and I look forward to starting up my blog again in 2013! :)
Every once in a while I like to change my blog a little...
I don't normally write lengthy blog posts. I hate lengthy blog posts so I like to keep things short, simple, and easy to read. I also like to create a fresh new look every once in a while. What do you think?
Gay and Christian? Can People Really Change? A Conversation Worth Having...
For the next little while I'll be taking another look at what it is I contributed to this synchroblog
that was hosted by GCN (The Gay Christian Network)...
Let's take another look shall we?
My blog entry wasn't about taking a theological stance for or against gay marriage, gay sex and/or partnerships etc it was in our response to and engaging in community and relationship with those who are either struggling in this area or those who find gay marriage not in contradictory to the Christian faith. It was actually an invitation towards enlarging who we decide to be in dialogue with. I very much so appreciate Paul's response when he approached a people who worshipped various gods and even included the unknown God. I loved how Paul invited the people into dialogue...
While Paul was waiting for them in Athens, he was greatly distressed to see that the city was full of idols. So he reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Greeks, as well as in the market place day by day with those who happened to be there. A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers began to dispute with him. Some of them asked, "What is this babbler trying to say?" Others remarked, "He seems to be advocating foreign gods"... Acts 17:16-34
I suppose when you advocate for dialogue, discussion, and you advocate relationship that is based upon mutual respect instead of trying to change one another it may appear to be advocating for the other and for what the other believes. I have also noticed that there is a voice that sometimes gay activists want to drown out and a voice I hope to be included in such a conversation as perhaps wrongful misconceptions could be cleared up.
One commenter responded...
"It is very informative to me to see your positive experience in the ex-gay movement and after reading, I have realized times when I have painted the entire movement with a broad brush based on my own negative experiences instead of considering what others have encountered... The fact that you consistently point to a closer walk with Jesus as a benefit from your time in the ex-gay movement is very encouraging to me..."
It's up to you if you should want to include such a voice or not within the context of dialogue.
For the next little while I will be taking another look at my previous post, making posts a little more reader friendly. Now that you have a context for what it is I am writing. A little while ago I published a post for GCN's synchroblog titled Gay and Christian? Can People Really Change? A Conversation Worth Having. And now I'll just be recapping what I contributed into, again what I say is more reader-friendly. I'm really not sure how long this blog series will last but perhaps this series will last right into the new year.
